


Say You Want Me

by ebc00



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer, 5SOS, ashton irwin - Fandom, calum hood - Fandom, luke hemmings - Fandom, michael clifford - Fandom
Genre: 5SOS - Freeform, 5SoS smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 08:34:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebc00/pseuds/ebc00
Summary: Where Calum sees you outside of a bar and a complicated but beautiful relationship blooms.*Contains smut, mentions of smoking, drinking, and other mature content.





	Say You Want Me

Calum had approached you for the first time outside a bar in New York city. You were wearing some sort of modelesque outfit, tattoos on display, cigarette in hand. It was a scene straight out of an aesthetic blog; brick wall and dim but beautiful lighting framing the image in Calum’s mind.

He took notice of every curve, especially that of your lips, in an instant. Maybe he could write a song about you someday-- your black jeans, black boots, black tube top patterned with cherries, and red lipstick to pair was perfect. You were perfect. 

You, of course, took notice of him too. Just like you had hundred of times before, when 5 Seconds of Summer played shows in the city and their posters were plastered all about, or your roommate freshman year would blast them during parties, and when you found yourself listening to his band even though you rarely admitted it. You had a thing for Calum, not that it counted until that moment he spotted you outside of the club. You were one student in the middle of a massive city. Dust. 

Calum didn’t know how much time he would have before a fan would spot him and blow his cover, or a security guard would track him down and bring him back to some crappy VIP lounge. The poor guy just wanted a breather. Yet, there you were, taking his breath away in the best possible way. So he approached you, sweaty palms and high hopes. 

“Do you have a light?” he asked you, keeping some distance. 

You took note of the way his eyes twinkled, and how his breath hitched just a little before he let his words out. You almost thought he was nervous. 

“‘Course.” You pulled a white lighter from your purse, fingering it towards Calum. “But I should warn you. Smoking kills.” 

“And white lighters are bad luck,” he laughed, lighting his cigarette and falling against the brick of the club. “Especially for musicians.” 

“Who needs luck,” you countered, cracking a smile and dropping the end of your smoke on the ground and crushing it beneath your boot. “When there’s fate in your corner.” 

“Fate in my corner?” Calum let out a laugh, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Maybe, but I’m feeling pretty lucky, Cherry.” 

“Maybe I need some luck.” You were trying to flirt, but Calum was out of his element. He was literally from a different world than yours, which lead you to question your decision to even attempt to flirt. But that didn’t matter. Not if luck, or fate even, had anything to do with it. 

“It’s your lucky night, then,” he flashed a smile, finishing his cigarette too. “I’m Calum.” 

“Y/N.” You stuck your hand out to shake his, noticing the twinkle in his eye as he smiled. “But I like Cherry better.” 

You winked at him, and from that moment forward, the relationship that blossomed was inevitable. You and Calum would get lucky often, only ever in private, where you had every piece of him to yourself. There weren’t labels, or expectations, just the two of you.

Calum became your best friend— benefits implied, of course. He was the hottest fuck you’d ever had. It was like he knew your body better than you did. You had convinced yourself that Calum was some form of art, and your mission was to learn every detail. Before you even realized, you had memorized what made Calum tick. 

But better than the sexual chemistry that bloomed, was the bond that you formed. The way you could coexist with Calum was beautiful. You spent countless hours together; smoking, or drinking, or listening to music, or your favorite, listening to Calum play you music. Your time with Calum was precious, and he was absolutely your favorite person. Arguments rarely happened. It’s like you both knew how lucky you were to be in each other’s lives. 

When Calum was gone, however, things were different. He would be photographed with women regularly, and he dated a bit. You did too, of course. Calum wasn’t your boyfriend. He was your best friend. And while he could make your knees weak with the bat of eyelash, he didn’t own you. He wasn’t even around most of the time. 

That’s what made your relationship work. At least, that’s what you told yourself. You were better on your own. You always had been. Your independence took ages to achieve. You worked so hard to be your own person; confident and striking, kind yet honest. You knew that being alone was working just fine. This was how things should be. 

Especially because every time he came to town, he rocked your world in so many ways. Not only was the sex magical, but the way he held you made you feel safe. You loved every second you spent with him, and there was never a dull moment. He felt the same way about his time with you. 

It was selfish, in the best and worst ways. You loved each other more and more every time you met. Which was also selfish, because it was something that you’d never admit. You were selfish. It was better this way. You were taking what you could get.

Calum was a rockstar, sure. And he toured the world. But to you, he was more than a rockstar. He was a confidant, a friend, a companion, and so, so much more. He was easily your favorite person, and if you could have had him just as he was— no money, no fame, nothing— you’d have done it in a heartbeat. Calum was someone that made you feel amazing all the time, no matter who he was or what he did. He was your Calum. 

Like clockwork, though, Calum was forced to retreat back to his world. Tours, groupies, parties. His lifestyle didn’t match yours. Of course, you had a life, too. It just didn’t match up to that of a rockstar. But when Calum was with you, he didn’t have to be a rockstar. He was content being just Calum, which would’ve broken your heart to find out. 

With album releases and press tours, not to mention world tours, he had very little time to come back to a place that felt like home. He was too busy, too famous, and too selfish for a relationship. That was the rule, especially after his failed attempts at relationships. But this time, he’d been away from you for longer than usual. And he missed you an awful lot more than he’d missed anyone in a long time. Touring had a way of making people forget just what home really felt like. 

When you starting appearing in Calum’s dreams, he realized that it was time to take a step in a new direction. Things were starting to calm down. It was now or never, Calum. thought. And just like that, his plans for at least the next six months changed. 

You were just making it home from your two morning classes when you noticed the sunflowers on the counter. Granted, as soon as you walked in, you could see the kitchen. Your apartment was tiny, so there wasn’t anywhere to hide them. Plus, these flowers weren’t meant to be hidden. They were meant for you to see; standing proudly on display in a beautiful vase. 

“Cal?” You called out his name. No one else had a spare key to your apartment, and no one else would buy you flowers like that. It had to be him. 

“The one and only.” He came out of your bedroom, Adidas track pants hung low on his hips, completely shirtless. 

You ran to him, throwing your arms around his neck. This time, it had been more than three months since you’d last seen him. With the drop of their first new single in over a year and all of the touring and promo that came along with it, Calum was on the road more than ever before. You kept in contact pretty well, but it was hard. You missed him more than you would admit. 

“You’re here,” you pulled back a bit, smoothing your hand to the side of his face. “And you bought me flowers.” 

He pressed a kiss to your lips, smiling almost immediately. Then, he pulled back and shrugged, saying, “I hope you like them… I know you’re not like, super into romantic gestures but some guy was selling them and they made me think of you.” 

“Because I’m so bright and beautiful, right?” you joked, pulling him into your embrace again. “But really, they’re beautiful. I love them. Thank you.”

You pressed a kiss to the base of his neck, holding him a little longer than usual. You’d seen each other naked many times, but this felt more intimate. Different. 

He kissed the top of your head in response, holding you in his arms. “Something like that.”

Something was different about this encounter. It wasn’t heavy or anything, but the atmosphere was different. It was almost like meeting him for the first time all over again, like the slate was somehow clean. Despite the intimacy that you two shared, and the way you fit into him. He was so familiar, yet a stranger all at once. Maybe the distance made him feel farther away than you noted. Maybe this was supposed to feel different. 

He could’ve held you just like that forever, so when you pulled away, Calum wanted to cling onto you again. It was like he couldn’t grasp that he was really back home after being away for so long. And, fuck, it hadn’t even been that long. He’d spent years touring nonstop, thousands of miles away from anything resembling home for months at a time. Now, he was trying to get back to a place that felt like home again. Not Australia, or even SoCal, but here. With you.

Selfish, selfish, selfish. 

“Calum…” You couldn’t believe how handsome he looked. All beautiful, smooth bronze skin and black tattoos. “I can’t believe you’re here.” 

Calum had never done anything like this before. He had never brought his bags to your apartment. He’d never given you flowers or showed up unannounced. Calum was like clockwork; you always knew when he would be back in New York. You’d even traveled to his shows a few times when he was upstate. 

“Me neither,” Calum confessed. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Cherry.” 

He used the nickname that he coined the first time you ever met him. He didn’t call you Cherry much, except for when you were under him… Calum cleared his throat, bringing your eyes back to his own; making his honesty feel like a burning in your throat. He didn’t do relationships. You didn’t do relationships. This right here? This felt like a relationship. 

It was never like this. Your hookups before always started with a smoke sesh, maybe, and if not, a phone call at the very least. This wasn’t like that. This was meticulous, thoughtful. This was beautiful. It felt like you spent forever staring at Calum, a dazed smile plastered across your face. 

You shrugged your jacket off, finally, and slipped off the same black boots you were wearing the night the two  
of you met. With butterflies in your stomach and a flush spreading across your skin, you pulled your top off, then stripped the jeans from your legs. 

“How long are you in town?” Time was moving slowly  
as you walked around Calum, grabbing his hand and tugging him into your bedroom. 

“I don’t know,” He pressed himself against you, bringing his lips to your own and stealing a chaste kiss. “The European tour starts in October.” 

“That’s six months, Cal,” You were stunned. He couldn’t be serious. “You…” 

“Six months.” He started placing kisses along your jawline, then your neck, then down to your shoulder. “I’m gonna be in town for six months.” 

You brought his face level with yours, staring him down for a few seconds before connecting your lips. Your hands were in his hair and down his chest. His tongue was dancing with yours, his hands unhooking your bra and pulling his pants off. It was fast and messy, not quite as soft and beautiful as it could have been. This reunion was everything you needed— the perfect shift in your routine. You desperately needed to feel Calum close to you, his mouth devouring your skin, his fingers brushing over your body. 

Six months. Chills spread across your warm skin at the thought. It didn’t even occur to you at the time that you had never spent more than a few weeks with Calum at a time. Six months sounded like an eternity after spending so long stealing moments with him so sporadically for over a year now. 

He brought you to the edge of the bed, sitting so you could stand between his legs. He left wet kisses along your collar bones, leaving small bruises where he nipped at your delicate skin. He worked down your chest, drawing one of your small, sensitive nipples into his mouth. You moaned out, pushing your body closer to Calum’s. 

“I want you.” You pushed Calum back, allowing him to scootch back a little before climbing over him. You straddled his waist, letting yourself grind against him through his boxers. “I want you so bad right now.” 

He rolled so you were pinned beneath him on the bed. I am so in love with you, he wanted to say. You are a goddess.

But he didn’t say those things. Instead, he shook his head and smiled at you, his lips finding yours in a heated kiss once again. So many thoughts swirled through his head as he worked hour panties down your legs, then broke the kiss to remove his boxers. 

“You are so beautiful,” he stood in front of you, his eyes examining your entirety. “I am so lucky.” 

“I-“ you started to say, then shook your head. “It’s not luck.” 

“It’s fate, then, yeah?” Calum hovered over you again, not giving you time to answer before he was greedily kissing your mouth, trailing down to your breasts, then stopping above your heat. 

“Cal,” you moaned, yet he wasn’t even touching you. “Please.” 

“I want to take my time with you.” His breath was hot on your pussy, his calloused hands rubbing the smooth skin on your thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this.” 

Before you could start begging, his lips started peppering long, sweet kisses to your sensitive skin. Still, he avoided kissing the one place that you were so desperate to have kissed. His mouth was so busy sucking at your skin that it almost didn’t matter; you could come undone if he just kept at what he was doing a little bit longer. 

“Please, baby.” Your hips bucked towards his mouth as he inched closer to your folds. “I need…” 

Calum finally placed his mouth directly on your pussy, licking and sucking greedily. You were a mess, moaning obscenities and bucking your hips against his face. He looped his arms around your thighs and held you in place, taking his time lapping at your folds and sucking delicately on your clit. Finally, he focused all his attention on your swollen bundle of nerves and sent you over the edge, coming with his name on your lips. 

You didn’t even have time to recover before you heard the ripping of foil and Cal’s face was level with your own. You drew his swollen bottom lip between your teeth and tasted yourself on his mouth, kissing him as if it was the last thing you’d ever do. 

Calum didn’t even hesitate before guiding his thick length towards your entrance and moving inside of you, slow and sweet at first. His words were filthy in your ear. “So perfect, Princess, you taste so good, I could’ve come if I’d kept tasting you.” Then, he started pounding into you just that bit harder. 

“Calum,” you found his eyes. “I missed you, too, baby. But right now, I need you to fuck me. It doesn’t have to be so sweet.” 

Calum complied, pinning your wrists above your head and thrusting sharply into you. He was rough, reckless. Much like the Calum you remember so well. He didn’t take his time, instead he took what he wanted. If he wasn’t so close, he would have flipped you over on the spot. 

Soon, he was sweating and moaning above you, taking what was his and unleashing an orgasm of his own. “Y/N, Y/N, baby, oh God, Cherry…” He looked like he could cry when he finally collapsed over you, slowing his thrusts just the tiniest and coming powerfully. 

Calum had given you three orgasms in what felt like only a few minutes, and there was a lump in your throat. There was a shadow of doubt clouding the sunshine that should have been Calum’s smile as he brought his fingers to either side of your face and kissed you gently. 

When he finally cleaned himself up after, he joined you in bed. It wasn’t even 2 o’clock in the afternoon, yet you were exhausted. Calum looked exhausted. Still naked, you threw one of your legs over one of Calum’s and rested your head on his chest. Things remained silent for a while, allowing you to hear his heartbeat slow as he strung his fingers through your hair. 

You make me so happy, you wished you could stay. I think I’m in love with you right now. 

“Calum?” you said instead.

“Hmm?” He was sleepy, but his eyes met yours and you knew he was listening. 

“I’m so happy you’re here,” you confessed. “I still can’t believe it.” 

He didn’t respond verbally, deciding to snake down and kiss your lips, then your forehead. You sighed, turning over and closing your eyes. Cal spooned around you, pressing his lips to your skin over and over again until you fell asleep. 

It was close to midnight when Calum finally woke up again. You were still asleep, your body intertwined with Calum’s limbs and your soft white sheets. Calum’s throat was scratchy and dry, and truth be told, he was itching for some nicotine. He hadn’t slept that well in months. Maybe even years, really. 

Removing your arms from his his torso and your legs from his own as gently as possible, Calum eased himself out of your bed and sauntered towards the bathroom. He peed, then made his way towards the kitchen. In a way, Calum felt high. He was absolutely buzzing, and his cheeks were sore because his smile couldn’t seem to disappear. 

In the kitchen, Calum made sure to pick up your jacket and move your boots, tidying up a tiny bit. Grabbing a glass from one of your cabinets and filling it with water, he sat on one of the stools at your counter and checked through the messages on his phone. He even tweeted a smiley face. 

Just when he was ready to head back into the bedroom (hoping for a round two of whatever earlier was), he heard your phone ding. He wasn’t snooping. Not on purpose anyway. But the texts that lit your screen also lit a fire in Calum’s chest. 

There were a storm of messages, all from the same guy. Nate. Who even was Nate? 

You ditched on our date earlier and didn’t even give me a heads up? The first one read. Then, You know how good I make you feel, why are you playing so hard to get all the sudden?

There were probably twenty more, but the more Calum read, the more upset he felt. It was clear that there was some history between this Nate tool and you. His girl. But not his girl. 

He didn’t even bother to grab the luggage from your room before he was out the door, calling an Uber and heading anywhere other than there. Betrayal weighed him down, and he even felt tears stinging his eyes. He didn’t realize that you were really dating other men. He didn’t realize that you weren’t really his. He should have followed his gut instinct and stuck to the rules. He should have let you remain an arms length away. He should have never overstepped the boundaries you clearly concocted. 

But when you woke up no more than five minutes late to an empty apartment, your heart started to break in your chest. He couldn’t leave. He wouldn’t leave. By the time you thought to call him, minutes had passed. You saw the messages from Nate, a douchey guy in a few of your classes that you’d went out with twice (study dates, really) and planned to get coffee with that afternoon. With a plan to break things off, you made the plans last minute, knowing that Cal was coming home within the next few weeks (as if you could’ve even guessed that he would surprise you that day). You wanted to let Nate down in person, because you weren’t the type of person to ghost someone or leave questions unanswered. But clearly, he thought there was something deeper going on. You knew Calum was probably thinking that, too. 

You tried calling Calum, texting him that you didn’t know what he read, or what he thought he knew, but he had to come back. You didn’t want to explain over text, or over a voicemail. There was too much to say, and your shaking hands and ugly crying wasn’t going to let you do that. You just wanted him to come back so much that it hurt, literally, in your chest and head and stomach. 

But Calum didn’t respond, or even look at the messages, for that matter. He felt numb. Knowing you might show up at his apartment, he went the bar where he first met you, ordering whiskey and letting the liquor numb him even more. Calum wanted to erase you from his heart in that moment, so he settled on erasing you from his thoughts. Alcohol burned his throat and formed a pit in his stomach, and when he heard Youngblood playing in the bar, he was only even sadder. 

It isn’t love unless it hurts, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment or send me a message @stellarcalum on tumblr for a part two! Thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> Also, I’d like to thank Jaz for editing for me!! Ilysm babes


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